shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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