Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
What a dumb baby whore.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
