I have demons in me.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
