if you like me you must not know who I am
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
