I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
