There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
