You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
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her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
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So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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