I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize