She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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