Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
