Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
