You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
