Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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