I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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