Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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