Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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