...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i've created a new STD.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It's rum buckets o'clock
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
