"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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