i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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