this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
