i wish peter jackson would direct porn
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
