just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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