Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
