are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
