I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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