All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
