a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
