Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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