He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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