so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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