She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
