This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
