Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
