And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
