the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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