I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
