We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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