I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
