DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
