i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
