I CAN MOONWALK!
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize