that's an acceptable place to lick
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
