im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize