I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
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Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
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I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize