I showed him my bush... on skype.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You can't just leave with hair like that
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
