I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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