he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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