I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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