He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
