Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
