You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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