instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm just crazy horny about you
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
