Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
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i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
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I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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