That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize