I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
