dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
