shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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