my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize