Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
